Do You Feel Rejected?

by Joyce Meyer

(and I dedicate this to my friend, with all my love, for S. - a brave and wise person. She is so special to me.)


The Lord gave this Word to me as I was preparing for one of my conferences, and I believe He wants me to share it with you. He said:

“So many are in prison because they won't accept themselves. So many are so gifted and talented, but they won't express themselves because they fear rejection. They fear man. They fear what people will think. I want to love My people, but they hold Me at arms length and won't let Me really love them because they have been hurt by others. They fear I will reject them because of their weaknesses—like people have—but I will never reject them. Tell them I love them. Ask them to stop trying so hard to be acceptable to Me and to realize I accept them where they are. Tell them I don't want perfect performance from them. I want them to love Me and to let Me love them."

The Lord’s been having me minister to the body of believers concerning how He looks for a perfect heart and not perfect performance. We won’t impress God with our works unless our heart is pure. A lot of people think God won't use them until every area of their life is perfected. That type of thinking keeps people from allowing God to use them. He uses us in spite of us, not because of us. This doesn't mean that we should have a loose attitude and not desire to live a holy life. A person whose heart is perfect toward God is always going to earnestly and zealously desire to please God in all things. But we must also remember that Hebrews 4:15 teaches us that …we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. Verse 16 encourages us, in light of verse 15, to draw near to God's throne and receive mercy for our failures and to go ahead and get grace to help us in our time of need. This is one of God's ways of saying He won't reject you because of your weaknesses or mistakes.

Most of us have grown up on a "merry-go-round" of trying to please people so they won't reject us. We all have an inbred need to be loved. People usually love you based on your performance. If you do what they want you to do, they accept you; but if you don't, they reject you. This is the operation of human love, and none of us know how to do anything else until we taste God's agape love that’s not based on man's performance but is based only on God. He loves you and accepts you because He decided to, not because of what you do or don’t do. Once again let me say, this doesn't mean you shouldn't desire holiness; but you'll never arrive at new levels of holiness if you think God rejects you and withholds His love every time you fail. Remember Hebrews 4:15,16. He knows you're weak, so admit that you are and let Him help you anyway.

2 Chronicles 16:9 says, ...the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to [show] himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him…(KJV).

1 Corinthians 1:27-29 says that God purposely chooses the weak and foolish things of the world to confound the wise.

I would, in my natural thinking, think that He would look for a perfect specimen—someone who has it all together, a strong person who’d never fail Him or let Him down. But instead He looks for a person whose heart is perfect toward Him.

God desires to heal His people from past hurts caused by rejection. He wants you to know He will never reject you. He says in Matthew 11:28, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (NKJV). This is referring to those who are laboring at trying to be perfect and then beating themselves with guilty feelings when they fail.

Jesus was talking to the people who were trying to live under the laws of the Pharisees. It takes a lot to please a Pharisee, and they’re still around today. I'm sure you know one—someone who conveys to you the message, "I'll accept you if you perform perfectly and please me. I'll reject you and withhold my love if you don't."

Jesus isn’t a Pharisee. He says in John 3:18 that he who believes in Him will never be rejected. Believe in Him, love Him and desire His will. You'll be off to a good start. He’ll bring you across the finish line. And remember, you may not be performing perfectly, but if you have a perfect heart toward Him, He counts you as perfect while you’re making the trip. Oh yes, one main thing I need to say: Be sure you are not a Pharisee. God has placed people all around you who need love and acceptance. Give it to them, and you'll help them become the best person they can be.